277 Tips for the Parent of a Newly Diagnosed ADHD Child

April 18, 2019

Recently the mother of a newly diagnosed ADHD child send me a direct message on Facebook asking for help in answering her questions. She told me she didn’t know who to turn to when she had questions. Obviously I told her she could ask me questions whenever she wanted and I would do my best to help. When she sent me this message it got me thinking. From this thought I posted a simple question on a ADHD support group on Facebook and asked the question, “WHAT IS YOUR #1 TIP FOR A PARENT OF A NEWLY DIAGNOSED ADHD CHILD?”

Below are 277 responses from actual parents of ADHD children. Some of the responses will make you laugh while others will make you cry. The bottom line is, this is a comprehensive list of some awesome advice.

To all the parents who responded to my question, THANK YOU! Your response is helping other parents tremendously.

WHAT IS YOUR #1 TIP FOR A PARENT OF A NEW DIAGNOSED ADHD CHILD?

Have patience and find what works for your child, every child and every medication is different.
Understanding
Every child is different NEVER compare your child to another one!
Have a lot of patience because it’s so very hard!!!
Be patient
Get used to repeating yourself.
I know he can’t help it but jeez it’s like we have a routine every morning and every night and he still continues to test my nerves LOL but I love him so much.
Patience and understanding. Your child is different and isn’t always their ‘normal’ self.
Self-care
Patience, Love and Understanding
Get ready for the ride and medication adjustments.
Take a breather when needed. Both for you and for them.
Patience! It’s a huge adjustment! With my kids I had to learn to break things down for them and give them time to comprehend and understand! I had to learn that it takes them longer to react or to just understand or stop!
Consistency is another one! Stay consistent! Have a routine!!
Just breathe!! And repeat, this to shall pass!
Trust your instincts. At the end of the day you know your child better than anyone.
Patience is key. Learning how difficult day to day activities can be for an ADHD’r was extremely eye opening for me. It’s still a struggle almost 7 years later. And learning to not let it define them helped tremendously. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you’re at your wits end no matter how embarrassing the situation is, you have no idea how many other moms are going through it right with ya! Good luck!
Seek help, resources and start learning about meds now. Work with teachers as a team to support your child and get an IEP (or 504) going.
Do not react, be consistent, firm, say what you mean and mean what you say.
Don’t forget to take care of you
All of these other ideas and suggestions are excellent, but YOU have to take care of yourself.
When you’re in an airplane they tell u to put the oxygen mask on first then your child. Why? Because if u don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t help anyone else fully.
Get down on their level and listen. Use a calm voice when disciplining. Be patient. And, read about ADHD. Buy some books especially if you’ve never dealt with someone with ADHD. Really learn how to understand how their brain functions.
Book Suggestion: 1000 best tips for ADHD, there are so many though!
Self-care, allow yourself a minute to recharge even if it’s just an extra few minutes in the shower. This helps me to have the patience I need and be a better parent to my son
When you feel like you are so overwhelmed and need to cry just cry…we were diagnosed in December and started meds in February but are having issues finding the right meds.
While your child is young, set the expectation that working with a therapist is a non-negotiable. Insist on regular therapy for your child. Research says a two-pronged approach of medication and therapy gives ADHD kids the best outcome.
Do your research. The better you understand ADHD the more you can help your child and those who are around him daily.
Consistency, patience, being his/her outlet so the frustration doesn’t build. Communication helped us a lot. Good luck it’s a tough road but very rewarding when you see your child succeed despite any struggles.
Don’t feel guilty for needing some time out.
Learn as much as you can so you know what each behavior effects your child.
Did I say PATIENCE!!!
Learn and be prepared to continue the fight for them and never use ADHD as an excuse.
You finally have a diagnosis…you are not a bad parent! There are a ton of resources out there. For those that will fight you for giving your kids medication that helps (if you choose too) you would give a child with diabetes insulin so what is the difference! You got this and you are your child’s advocate! They truly are amazing kids seeing the world through their eyes is a blessing!
Find a resource of patience you never knew you had!
Do a parenting course on ADHD as it encourages positive parenting. Positive parenting is what’s encouraged in cognitive behavioral therapy.
But most of all enjoy your child as they are. We’re on school holidays in Australia and Mr 7 who has ADHD is on medication, we decided not to give it to him this holiday to see how he goes and it’s reminded me how much I miss his energy and cheekiness.
ADDitude magazine
I LOVE ADDitude! I’ve also listened to TONS of their catalog of webinars via their podcast!
Have an open line of communication with your child’s teacher! I’m lucky to have the best.. we text all the time about my kids. She had my first ADHD’r last year, my next ADHD kid this year, & I’m requesting her for the last one next year! She knows every med change or just if they had a rough morning & she tells me the same…
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and ask for second opinions… you know your child better than anyone else…
Pick your battles!
Smile
… oh yoga, pray, coffee, lots of coffee… patience of a saint. Never let your ADHD’r use the excuse that they didn’t know better …they do know better they just can’t control the impulsiveness. I know this because I was that kid. Now as a fully grown functional adult who’s now raising ADHD kids it’s the longest road ever but it’s going to be ok …it could be worse. Your child does not have cancer. People sometimes forget it isn’t the worst that can happen and it is not limiting one’s life. It gets better.
Taking care of yourself too, medication helps the condition, and PATIENCE.
As hard as it is for you. It’s 10 or more times harder for them.
Think outside the box. Their brains work differently.
Find a good stress release activity for both of you.
No matter how tense things may get, continue to just say “I love you” to your kids throughout the day. Even if it seems like they are too angry or frustrated to hear it. At the end of the day, they need to hear it.
The most important thing is: the diagnosis does not define your child! It does not mean that nothing will get better or worse now. It is for you to look for adequate methods and help. Do not give up on your child!
Breath and have lots and lots of patience especially in the mornings!!
Read books so you truly understand some behaviors they don’t have control over.
Patience! Not only will this be a roller coaster for you but keep in mind your child HAS BEEN dealing with this plus all the new things of being diagnosed. It will not be easy. Just breathe and have a little understanding.
Kids with ADHD are more likely to become depressed. This has a lot to do with the fact that they hear SO much negative language because their ADHD gets attention.
Just breathe, try to be patient, and catch them being “good.” Even small things like acknowledging when they brush their teeth without being asked or they got dressed the first time you asked (instead of the 4th time). These kids need to be reminded that they aren’t “bad kids.” They need positive and loving language because they are scolded/disciplined/corrected so much more often than their peers and/or siblings and they notice.
Also, emotional regulation can be tough. With our son (8 years), we really focus on him being allowed to have ANY emotion or feeling he is having. However, he is constantly reminded that his feelings don’t make it ok to be hurtful, unkind, violent, loud, disrespectful, etc. If he needs to collect himself because he’s getting worked up and starts with an attitude, I simply tell him we can talk when he’s ready to be calm and respectful. If he isn’t ready, I send him to his room and tell him he can come out whenever he’s ready to talk about it without being hurtful.
Oh, and I can’t stress enough the value of starting over! People with ADHD (even adults like myself) tend to make a LOT of mistakes and we can be very hard on ourselves. We talk often about starting fresh after a bad morning/afternoon/school day/etc. We don’t hold grudges. We just talk about what happened and what we can do better next time, then we hit refresh. It’s easier for them to forgive themselves into adulthood for little mishaps here and there if they grow up feeling like mistakes don’t make them “bad” people.
Lists, rewards, read The Explosive Child, therapy for the family, it affects everyone!
Russel Barkley—world top researcher, he has YouTube videos to help understand what ADHD is. And he has books out.
It is hard .. we are going though it now too. Don’t blame yourself as it is mainly a genetic and physical condition. It was explained to me as being in a cockpit and all the lights are going off and you don’t know which one to go to first. It is not in their control. We were on the fence about meds … but my son wants them. The psychologist told me the risk of not treating is worse… his self-esteem, friendships and academics will suffer. We are starting our first dose of meds today.
Patience, stay calm, getting upset will only cause a blowout. I talk to my daughter calmly all the time and honestly I’m the only person she listens to the majority of the time…… but in all fairness I am ADHD so I tend to recognize the signs when she starts getting overwhelmed and I can calm her back down quickly. I see my ADHD as an advantage because it’s not all bad!
I would say connect yourself with other parents who have children with Autism. I feel it’s key to surround yourself with support – good for you and your child.
Don’t take any advice personal, some people categorize everything!
Social media helps for good tips, keep an open mind because every kids situation is different, self-help books because now that that diagnoses is done, you’re going to need to make sure you keep your sanity because sometimes things get crazy and it’s easy to get overwhelmed, and last take it 1 day at a time.. there is no quick fix for ADHD… really it’s about giving them the time they need and the resources. Lots of support out there.
Learn not everything can be controlled. You will lose yourself a lot more. And learn to take time outs for you.
Find a sitter or someone your child listens well with.
Find something hands on your child will enjoy. Such as baking, puzzles, play dough, drawing.
Take a deep breath and know that until you find a path that’s right for your child, no 2 days may be the same. Patience is key.
Truthfully embrace it. I learnt so much about the world by looking at it through my son’s eyes.
Lots of reminders to do day to day things.
Make sure the TV and electronics are off during homework, getting ready in the morning or any other time you need his/her full attention or cooperation.
Hug your kid.
Get a few books about ADHD. Stay off internet support groups asking for info until you understand what ADHD is and proper understanding of how it effects your child.
Read Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward Hallowell
It’s hard. Take time for yourself every now and then. Patience is learned. Don’t blame yourself. Love them on their worst days. Tomorrow is a new day. Connect with others who know what you’re going through.
Pick your battles don’t sweat the small stuff save your energy
Be honest as you can be with your child, being child friendly telling them about ADHD. It helps that they have an understanding of why they are taking the medication.
Trust in yourself and your child and know you both have the tools inside you to manage the challenges successfully. It can be very frustrating till you reach the new normal, and you will want to give up. But do not give up. The journey is worth the pain, and it will result in a resilient and empathetic child. Hugs to you all.
Get a therapist for yourself. Get one that specializes in ADHD that can understand what you’re going through. Best thing I did when my kiddos were diagnosed.
It’s ok to cry. It is 100% ok to break down and feel low as heck and like you are failing. But you’re not. And you have to make sure you pick yourself back up and go on with life again.
Still have discipline, don’t excuse all the behavior. Have more understanding and discussions about self-control. Work to notice triggers and what they can do instead of whatever you don’t want them doing. Still have them take responsibility for their actions.
I’ve noticed spanking doesn’t help.
Research and read everything you can find, it will help you and help you help them. You got this.
Learn to laugh. You have to be able to laugh at the messes and silly stuff, so you don’t cry at the really tough times and try to see the positive in every situation.
Buckle up, it’s a bumpy, exhausting ride! Above all, keep your cool and stay as patient as you can!
Patience with your child. Learn how to control your frustration and celebrate the little victories.
One day at a time, do your research, patience.
You are your child’s advocate be strong and patient and don’t take everyone’s parenting advice because every child is different.
Your parents don’t have the first clue about how to raise YOUR child.
You got this!! Be his/her best advocate always!! You will have good days and bad days but always have patience!!
It’s not always hard . Every child is different.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Take time for yourself when you can. Find a support group, even if it’s your friends, have a tribe to talk with and vent to. And try not to be too hard on yourself.
Breathe, be patient. Read all you can about it and try to understand how they feel.
For instance, I am currently waiting on my nine-year-old to brush her teeth even though I’ve asked her to do it about a dozen times. She had her medicine about 5 minutes ago…
Know that it’s not the end of the world and that researching and getting resources gives you the knowledge to help your child be the best he or she can be!
Lots and lots of patience and try to keep a routine.
Count down clocks when you want them to stop doing something.
I’m new to this too and the one thing I remind myself of is ‘it’s ok to cry.’
Accept them for them and please by all means take nothing personal when or if they act out. They are going through a lot between school rules and other’s opinions of them, so in my opinion try to be the one they feel safe and nonjudgmental with.
Take a breath and remember their brains do not work like ours.
The frustration will be real, and you will lose it, but forgive yourself and move fwd.
Structure is key.
Tell your kids you love them no matter what
Kids do well if they can. Be patient and always start with empathy when frustrated.
There is never a dull moment! When you think you have had enough and you can’t handle it anymore, just think what your kid is going through with the thousand bits of information that their brain is trying to process at once.
Be extremely consistent in whatever discipline you do. Don’t let certain things slide because you feel bad. Control your own emotion because they will feed off you. And you will need to improve on your acting skills.
Breathe and know you’re ok. Then do research to help yourself and your child understand how their brain works. Knowledge is key to help you parent these kiddos. It has made a big difference for our family.
Be patient and remember they aren’t doing this on purpose. Accept their apologies after an incident.
Hug them when they want a hug.
They’re on an emotional roller coaster and you’ve got to go thru all the ups and downs and sharp turns with them.
Just because you’ve got a diagnosis it doesn’t mean things get any easier! I felt relieved when son was finally diagnosed, but it’s still a rocky old road that lies ahead
Remember that they didn’t wake up today and decide to make your life difficult.
Find a great OT. This has made such a difference for us.
When you get the chance do an elimination diet. World of difference for us with no dairy and limited sugar /carbs.
If you have a girl with ADHD take time to read about how this presents differently from “typical” perceptions of the hyper boy.
Remember, the ADHD is a reason why things happen, but will never be an excuse for poor behavior.
You have a shit load of reading to do.
Everyone is different and many have other things other than ADHD going on. Try to find an adult who has it to help explain or an older teen who can also let you know what it’s like to help you cope. And most of all… self-care!!! Take time for yourself the other kids and your partner! So important
No question is too silly for the doctor and fight for your what you believe is right at school.
When they are at their worst, we need to be at our best.
Let go of the small stuff and be PATIENT
Learn empathy and love on them as much as humanly possible. Also, be kind to yourself.
Patience n lots of hugs and positive talks . It gets frustrating at times but let your Love and Compassion shine. When I discipline my ADHD’r I usually take electronics away and then I ask him why is it being taken away? If he can tell me why then it shows he is listening and learning.
“They aren’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time.”
Educate yourself! No ADHD is the same on every child nor every day. Have patience. Cry and love regardless!
Read a lot of articles on the topic to make informed decisions about their care & to learn how to help them in school (IEP’s , 504 plans).
Learn as much as you possibly can. Take a deep breath. Always reflect on the great days and review the bad ones and make it better the next day.
.. that’s one I’m still working on… I used to think I had tons of patience but having a child with ADHD has proven me wrong. She’s amazing, it’s me that needs working on.
Find, take, enjoy the small moments. This road is bumpy and stressful. Remember the laugh and love and enjoy the child who is also struggling with this new journey.
Love them. Love yourself.
When they can’t fall asleep put on the album ADHD Lullaby.
Take a deep breath. And go for the meds. As scary as it seems to medicate a child, it does amazing things for them
Make a schedule for every minute of every day. A schedule has helped so much and keep it consistent. If your child doesn’t follow it then let them know that there will be consequences.
Remind him/her what a good child they are & it’s about the choices they choose to make. Some kids grow out of ADHD & if not many live very successful lives. Best to you. Blessings.
Read on his diagnosis as each ADHD kid can have other issues mixed with ADHD. You know your boy so don’t be afraid to ask for accommodations to help him in school …Some schools will try to avoid the 504 or IEP process but be strong it can happen.
Read everything you can about it so you can have realistic expectations.
It’s a long journey so we need loads of patience
Patience, patience, patience.
See them as a person not a diagnosis.
Choose your battles. Not everything is a major problem.
Research, read, and learn. Do what is best for your family and your child!
You are not crazy!
You are not crazy!
You are not crazy!
Don’t yell. Get on their level.
Don’t give a long to do list.
Never use the word…. NO
Believe/accept that it’s real and also know that there will be many challenges ahead all of which are surmountable with the right knowledge, guidance and support!
Let your child guide their health. Give meds a try, if your child wants to, and if they want to quit, listen to them. And if they never want the meds, find them a professional who will listen to everything and help you both to overcome your battles. Be their biggest supporter. Be there when they need it. Above all, though, listen.
Keep your home organized, listen and observe to your child a lot. What it works for some, It won’t work for yours.
Breathe, remember to take care of yourself, don’t make the teacher your enemy, they spend as much time with your child as u do. If you feel like something is off, whether meds, diagnosis, school etc., don’t hesitate to look into it with an open heart and mind.
Speak with your child’s caregivers and the family who helps you with your child when you make decisions about medication etc.
Don’t let the people condemn you for medicating your child/children. Until they are in your daily shoes tell them to F OFF!
The diagnosis doesn’t define who your child is. Your child is not a bad kid, his brain just works differently.
Patience, every day is incredibly different from the last, schedule everything and have a routine it helps, encourage your child, I know my son gets discouraged a lot so boost their confidence, stick to your consequences for bad behavior but also stick to your rewards for good behavior… it’s very stressful… remember to just breathe.
Make sure they are supported in every way school / home and have medication that is needed… mine has sleep issues too.
ADHD meds will make your kid not hungry. They’ll get up in the middle of the night and eat. Don’t get mad at this. They need to eat – let them, and encourage them to, eat whenever they want to.
ADHD meds also make it hard for your kid to go to sleep at night. Don’t get mad at them. Help them find the combination that works for them.
No one will advocate for your child and what they need better than you. Let your child know that you are there, and this is new to both of you. Openly discuss what is going on and why. I always have pep talks with my ADHD’r like you can do this let’s make better decisions today than yesterday.
Have everyone you know including the teachers watch the YouTube videos “Failing at Normal” and “How to ADHD.” I wish I had watched them before my daughter failed at school. The school psychologist just kept telling her to try harder. That’s the last thing you do.
Tip #1 don’t let the label over ride your parenting.
Patience, embrace their talents and positive behaviors.
Low lighting helps my son and many others with ADHD.
My kid is also newly diagnosed. I think the first step is to determine his/her unique form of ADHD because everyone has one.
Don’t apologize for your child’s behavior. Instead explain to others what is going on.
Don’t be ashamed for your child.
You’re going to have to fight for your child’s success. They’ll look up to you for it.
Know which kind of ADHD your child has. There is hyperactive and inactive. Your child might have a little of both too. From there do research and/or ask questions. This group is wonderful of educating on 504/IEP. Good luck.
Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle. We all do at times.
Find the patience of a saint, learn their triggers (food, noise, overwhelmed, etc.). Remember inside their head is so busy don’t give them more than they need to deal with.
Remember ADHD is not the excuse for disrespect.
Don’t be afraid to medicate.
Teach them to be polite.
Think before you react.
Get down on their level and try and see things their way! Lots of love
Get counseling for yourself. With any new diagnosis it would have been an emotional long haul to get there. I did not take this advice right away because I was so focused on my son. I did go. I am a better parent for my son and what he needs now.
I recently just realized that i haven’t really understood my child and her ADHD until I started reading The Explosive Child and my daughter been diagnosed since 1st grade she’s in 3rd now so here I am realizing a lot about her and myself.
Structure, stability, consistency with consequences (follow through no matter what), praise, encouragement, ACCEPTANCE, kindness and love.
Remember that they are NOT “BAD” kids.
Their brains are wired differently than those without ADD/ADHD.
Think outside the “normal” box.
Just because everyone else is doing it one way, doesn’t mean it is the right or best way for your child.
Medication isn’t the devil. Trying meds will not make you a bad parent. Quite the opposite. And, your child may thank you for helping them be who they were meant to be.
Also medication isn’t failure.
They’re children, don’t say anything to hurt them even though it’s on the tip of your tongue.
Do what’s best for you and your family and silence the outside opinions that don’t live in your house with you child and don’t understand. Get multiple opinions from specialist, get extra help at school. Hang in there.
So many things I could say! But one thing I wish I had known about earlier was a book called Lost at School written by psychologist Ross Greene.
Also, if you choose to medicate, educate yourself on the different types of medicine, milligrams, side effects (long-term & short term) etc. Also stay in constant contact with your prescriber.
Your child is blessed to have a parent like you who sought support and understanding. Don’t let the label scare you. You are giving them the best start and modeling that we sometimes need to seek professional support in life and that is okay!
Lots of patience. Know our kids are trying their best. Lots of Love.
Don’t think it’s burden you need to fight this war for your kid once he gets confidence and find what he is good at he will do better than anyone else.
Try not to immediately react to their impulses. They will do stupid shit. You need to be the one to think before responding
Just know that your child wants to please you.
You kept him/her alive this far! Now you can relax a little
I’ve learned to run my kid out before he needs to be still for a bit. Even before school or before sitting in a movie or the car for too long. Helping to get some energy out has tremendously helped his behavior. I can’t expect him to be like other kids and just handle it, I have to accommodate his needs and it helps us all in the end.
You know your child better than any teacher or doctor. Educate yourself and be the best advocate you can for your child.
It’s not their fault…distance before blame. Be an adult and don’t fall for the drama…they need a rock not hard place
Lots and lots of wine.
Stay strong consistent and wine!!
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
ADHD is what makes them who they are. It’s not a negative IMO when recognized and acknowledged. Find what works to help your child.
Look into parenting classes for ADHD. ADHD is not an excuse for bad behaviors. Look into Occupational Therapy. They can help you. My daughter benefited a great deal from it. Communicate with his teacher they will have him most of the day.
You can’t make a square peg fit in a round hole, you can only round it’s edges. Don’t try to force it and your life will be a whole lot easier!
Be sure to make time for yourself a priority!! Caring for an ADHD child can be emotionally and mentally draining. Personally, Yoga saved my life! But you have to find whatever works for you and stick with it so that you don’t burn out. also, Check out ADDitude.com. So many great articles and information. Best of luck.
Cut out food dye- I was always skeptical of this but once we did we have seen such a difference in our son!
My # 1 tip for a newly diagnosed ADHD child……BREATHE! You will be ok, there is always another day to try again!
Not everyone will understand ADHD so advocate for your child…
Record behaviors both good and bad when meds are changed/assigned. Share with doctor. Changes in diet can also affect behaviors.
Learn everything you can, know that you are your child best advocate and never just take the schools word for it all. Always push for your child deserves and have patience and please understand that it isn’t always just bad behavior, and consistency is the key……because they will take that 1 time and run with it that you gave in.
When you say no don’t give in.
I have ADHD and the best way I can describe it, is; imagine being in a room with 27 televisions going at the same time and your mind wants to hear them all.
Don’t raise voice when talking to them about their actions
You are a great parent. Don’t allow guilt to creep in and make you feel any less than you are. Get the information you need to educate yourself about what your child is going through also. Learning what ADHD looks like from the perspective of the brain, helped me tremendously.
Things will always be a work in progress and make sure to take time for yourself.
Realize that a diagnosis doesn’t change who your child is, it just opens doors to help you manage the challenging parts. Medication, therapy, IEPs, etc. are all new tools you can use, or not use, to help your child succeed.
Don’t let criticism from others cloud your better judgment on what you feel is right for your kiddo.
Don’t be hard on yourself, educate yourself as much as possible about ADHD and the effects on the brain and behaviors. Give positive reinforcement as often as you can!
Patience and disciplining a child with ADHD is vastly different. It takes time – but basically you ignore the bad behavior and highly reward the good. Both with your child and siblings. I highly recommend joining an ADHD parent education program.
Get on their level. No matter what you need to create a bond that’s strong with them so you can stay eye to eye. This will make parenting them easier because they will trust you more and communicate more freely.
Be patient and seek out counseling for the child and yourself. The counseling definitely helped me be a better parent in an unusual circumstance. Set rules and stay firm but make sure you learn what they are interested in and focus on the child’s positive traits.
Get into a routine. It’s been a life saver for our family!
Try to stay calm when disciplining and reward the good Behavior. I feel like I have to take a totally different approach with my ADHD child. Yelling at him just seems to “feed the fire.” I’ve come to realize that trying to talk to him calmly works much better.
Routine is totally key!
Behavior counseling and making sure all teachers know you’ll keep communication wide open! Also, color coded anything for organization, doing thing in fifteen-minute intervals, and always give the five-minute warning before asking anything.
Take a deep breath before you react. Get your child on IEP/504 plan: the more details the better. Keep in good communication with the behavioral pediatrician. Make chore time into games or they will rebel big time. And Breathe………..
Sometimes they can’t/don’t know how to control their actions/reactions.
Take the label with a grain of salt and do your own research and come to your own conclusions and don’t let anybody (even doctors) force something that doesn’t feel right to you.
ADHD Lullaby works wonders when they can’t sleep.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Follow through. Do not believe he is always trying to get into trouble some things they cannot control yet.
They are the same kid they were before the diagnosis. This just helps you figure out how to help them.
It gets better!
Find your support system and seek help.
Know that your child probably doesn’t mean to do what he does. It’s a discipline journey.
Find ways to process things without your kid. I miss my personal therapist so much but thank goodness my kid’s play therapist is looking at the whole family unit, as well as my kid, and can see when I need a little help. Groups are great, but there can be some judgment, so find a safe person that you can cry, yell, and fall apart with, that isn’t a spouse or family member.
Don’t take what they say to you personally.
Don’t take it the wrong way if they aren’t interested in something you want them to be interested in. Same goes with helping them, sometimes they aren’t interested in help – ADHD kids do have to fail on their own from time to time to learn from their mistakes.
Advocate like crazy for him/her.
Think of it as a blessing, our kiddos are much more interesting!
Don’t panic. And remember their brains are wired completely differently than ours! Also, you got this! You are stronger than you know!
Don’t listen to the bull about it being your “bad parenting skills.”
Don’t be afraid to punch that judgmental mom. The cops will understand.
Your child will launch with your love and support but just from a different launch pad.
Find your tribe/ support group for both you and your child. Playdates, birthday parties and lifelong friends can still happen.
Albert Einstein had ADHD.
Read, Memoirs of an ADHD Mind which teaches tips for those struggling with ADHD and how to overcome it.
Breathe it’s OK to have bad days and keep your calm to help keep your child calm and scream into a pillow later if you need to…..use this group we are here for each other and we have a great and twisted sense of humor …learn to laugh about stuff.
Lots of wine
One technique we use in school and at home is a cool down space. When he feels upset or overwhelmed, he is to use his cool down space and calm down. When he is ready, he then comes to talk to me or teacher. We let him pick a spot he feels comfortable with.
Read the book Parenting ADHD Now!
Go to a Day Treatment program where they have a team of behavioral therapists. Insurance covers this…our daughter is currently going to a hospital (3 hours away round trip) for 2 weeks, 3 hours / day and it’s helping with disrobing, communicating more effectively, keeping her glasses on, and dramatically decreasing her aggression.
Don’t let it change how you feel about your kid. And don’t use it as an excuse for bad behavior. They are capable of behaving. They just need extra help.
All your child needs is someone to understand him/her, to feel accepted and feel loved. And who better than the parent can do this? This child is your treasure. There will be tough moments, but there will be many joyful ones filled with love and success.
Same child as yesterday and will be the same child tomorrow, only the caregivers need to find ways to make this child’s life better.
Hug and love them as much as they will allow especially on the “tough days” they need to know you love them then the most!
Let them understand it is not an illness, it’s a special ability given to extraordinary children. Love them, try to understand them and most important, be there for them, always.
Congratulations! It wasn’t in your head and now you can do research and truly help to the best of your ability
Be calm and know that God has got your back! Everything will be alright!
Read Smart but Scattered
There is no miracle pill. There will still be challenges (depending on what other issues you are tackling and how severe the ADHD is).
Parent to parent course through CHADD. My husband and I found it very informative. Was also good to meet other parents with similar challenges. We did the in-person course. https://chadd.org/parent-to-parent/
Do not give in!!!!! Headphones/music for yourself through those long meltdowns and find something that helps your own soul.
Ensure them you love them. They will get into lots of trouble. They will frustrate you. They will say they never mean to do it and have the best intentions when you are ready to cry at something they did.
Educate yourself on every avenue. And breathe before you try to communicate.
Don’t let any professional who learnt from a book tell you your child will not live up to anything. That they will never achieve anything. They will and my son is living proof!
Everything is just a phase. Some phases are longer than others. Settle in for the long ride.
Learn all you can. ADHD can be a good thing if you teach your child how to use the skills. We are pirates, Tarzans, Astronauts, Warriors, Cowboys, the curious, the courageous; the rule challengers, risk takers…
Validate your child’s feelings even if you think they’re wrong.
No one is judging you when he falls out in the aisle because you won’t give in to his terrorist demands.
Do not use the word ‘normal’. You cannot define normal.
Keep a behavior journal. Reflect back on it and you’ll notice things are getting better all the time.
Try to enjoy them as much as you can, because one day they grow up.
You are still a wonderful parent.
Always remember to love them through it. You might not like them at a certain time but that doesn’t mean that you have stopped loving them. Don’t be afraid to advocate for them. Talk with the school and keep the conversation going. Grow with them, not against them.
Your job is to make them a happy and successful adult.
Learn your child’s triggers. For instance, mine cannot make good choices if he’s hungry or thirsty.
Chiropractor specializing in pediatric conditions like ADHD. icpa4kids.com to find a specialist near you + info. Best wishes!
Chloroform and duct tape are not allowed but you will wish it wasn’t sometimes.

WHAT IS YOUR #1 TIP FOR A PARENT OF A NEW DIAGNOSED ADHD CHILD?

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